Post #2 - Nine Lives

Please note this is a complete SPOILER and I am basically relaying how insanely stupid this movie was for your enjoyment. I suggest seeing the movie before reading this if you have any interest in it being surprise.

2002 Release
Directed by: Andrew Green
Written by: Andrew Green & Tom MacRae
Starring: Rosie Fellner, Vivienne Harvey & Paris Hilton

I realize the I was completely asking for it when I selected a movie off Netflix starring Paris Hilton (especially having experienced her acting prowess already in the absolute cinematic gem House of Wax), but I guess I couldn't help myself, seeing her killed once wasn't enough.

Ok, first of all...I was instantly aggrivated because it was not widescreen (yes I realize how insane I sound saying that) and the font used for the opening credits was so cheesy and instantly pist me off. All of the "e's" were drawn in a "super creepy way", yeah like backwards 9's...not a good sign. It looked like it had been filmed in the 1970's and clearly they couldn't afford any lighting for the set because every scene was too dark and blurry. I think that actually helped because you couldn't really see what was going on. I am also pretty sure Paris Hilton had no idea they were filming a movie and thought she really was off for a vacation with friends at a Scottish mansion. The "characters" who were supposed to be Scottish had such thick accents and I couldn't really understand the drivel they were saying - again probably a good thing. At the 12 minute mark I was ready for someone, anyone, anything to die! But all they were doing was TALKING! At the 18 minute mark I couldn't stand the horrendous "dialogue" any longer and lack of ANYTHING happening so I turned it off and gave it the lowest ratingon Netflix - take that Nine Lives!

SO having said all that, I give this movie:

I refused to give anything 0 hooks because I was the moron who took the time to watch the piece of junk, so I deserve the shame of this single hook. I wear it like a scarlet letter of shame and hope to be stoned on the street for my stupidity.