Thursday, March 31, 2011

Post #4 - The Queen of the Damned

Please note this is a complete SPOILER and I am basically relaying how insanely stupid this movie was for your enjoyment. I suggest seeing the movie before reading this if you have any interest in it being surprise.

2002 Release
Directed by: Michael Rymer
Written by: Anne Rice, Scott Abbot & Michael Petroni
Starring: Aaliyah, Stuart Townsend, Marguerite Moreau

Oh boy, ok...
Many of the best actors out there today got their start through horrror movies, BUT anytime an established music artist enters the acting world via a horror movie...OUCH! They usually return to the music world fairly quickly hoping to leave the world of the silver screen behind them. Of course this wasn't Aaliyah's first rodeo having appeared in Romeo Must Die (....yup...).

This movie really aggrivated me. Nevermind the fact that the story was fucking stupid, but Lestat (Stuart Townsend = ew) becomes a famous vampire goth metal moron lead singer in a stupid vampire goth metal moron band? BARF. This movie is beyond cheesy, I wish there was a word to describe how offended I was by its lack of any taste or intelligence. There were probably a bunch of angst ridden 16 year old girls with black lip stick who thought Lestat was really hot and mysterious and wished he could come and rescue you them from their boring lives - INFURIATING!

I should mention at this point that I have only seen the first quarter of this movie I think...I hope.

Ok so enough about how ridiculously stupid the Lestat character is, I have bigger fish to fry - Aaliyah as the Queen Akasha - the Queen of Vampires and the Damned. TERRIBLE TERRIBLE PERFORMANCE. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD.

I was thinking of going on IMDB.com and at least finding out what happens in this dog shit movie so I could relay it to you...but then I decided NO - this movie doesn't deserve to have its "plot" described to anyone. I have said all I am going to say about this crap.

SO having said all that, I give this movie:

The poster above is enough to send me into a rage. I hated this movie, I hated Stuart Townsend's stupid face.

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