Post #13 - Sorority Row

Please note this is a complete SPOILER and I am basically relaying how insanely stupid this movie was for your enjoyment. I suggest seeing the movie before reading this if you have any interest in it being surprise.

2009 Release
Directed by: Stewart Hendler
Written by: Josh Stolberg & Pete Goldfinger
Starring: Briana Evigan, Rumer Willer & Carrie Fisher

UGH is all I can say to start. This movie SUCKS...

I am going to try and make this quick, like ripping off a band-aid. 6 sorority sisters play a prank that accidently results in the death of one of them. The remaining bitches decide to conseal the crime and never reveal the truth to anyone - you know the tenants of "sisterhood" = secrecy and solidarity. I can't believe I have seen this movie enough to remember that. Anyway, they all agree to keep the accident a secret, but Cassidy (Evigan) is all tormented and shit by what happened. She has this really annoying boyfriend who I wanted to see beheaded instantly.

All seems well a year later as the girls are all graduating and leaving the sorority house they have called home, run by Ms. Crenshaw (Fisher - why why why?). They are all stuck up and snooty and overall pretty terrible people. Ellie (Willis) is the weepy annoying one and I wanted to see her tongue ripped out the whole time so she would shut the hell up - horrendous acting, horrendous. The RL sister of the dead sorority girl shows up at the party looking for some explanation of why her sister has been missing and suspects the dirty sorority sluts. You know, she's really smart and looks like a human rodent.

So, on their last night in the house they throw a big party and one by one they are all murdered, and some of their stupid boyfriends as well. There is an amusing scene with Crenshaw and a shotgun trying to take out the bad guy, it's not meant to be amusing but I couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous the dialogue was. It isn't until the very end that we discover it's Cassidy's boyfriend behind all the bloodshed. He did it so Cassidy could live without her secret ever being discovered through the sorority sisters, or some stupid shit. The house is set on fire and Cassidy along with puddles Ellie and the dead girl's sister are the only ones to survive.

Two things really pist me off about this movie, the scene where the 3 survivors are leaving the burning house and its all slow motion and badass music is playing - their clothing is strategically ripped so you can see their tits, etc. This aggrivated me to no end, but THEN the last shot of the movie is the dead girl's sister in the sorority house singing some stupid fucking song and being a bitch. GRRR!

SO having said all that, I give this movie:
I fucking hate myself for watching this so many times but I have be honest and say I will probably watch it again. Even with that, I CANNOT give this movie anything over a 1. It's really just shit and I hope you don't watch it.