Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Post #24 - Sam's Lake

Please note this is a complete SPOILER and I am basically relaying how insanely stupid this movie was for your enjoyment. I suggest seeing the movie before reading this if you have any interest in it being surprise.

2006 Release
Directed by: Andrew C. Erin
Written by: Andrew C. Erin
Starring: Fay Masterson, Sandrine Holt & William Gregory Lee

Oh yes, Sam's Lake. What a treat! This is another one I had seen on Netflix for awhile and decided to give it a shot last night. I was pleasantly surprised at #1) the production value, I thought for sure this would be one of those movies I turned off because I hated the font in the opening credits, but its surprised me; #2) it had all the token characters a crappy movie needs - the flamboyant gay guy, the token black dude, the blonde with pig tails (but she didn't have big tits - ha!), the "hot" white guy, and the non-blonde - again signs to me of an entertaining flick; and #3) it takes place in the woods far away from civilization!

So the movie opens witch a boy escaping some sort of hospital and trekking through the woods to a house dark and quiet. He murders the family inside who we assume are his parents and siblings. Then it cuts to this horrible store set with the token gay, blond and black talking about how they were going away for the weekend with their friend Sam who is still grieving the loss of her father. Cut to the car where the troop stops at a local convenience store before heading deep into the woods. The local are of course semi-inbred looking and creepy, warning the group that it isn't safe to be heading into the woods this time of year - I love this shit! The group of course ignores the warning and continues on their journey. Once at the house the group settles in and are joined by the "hot" white guy who is a friend of Sam's from town. They have a bitchin' time swimming, sun bathing and sitting around the camp fire. They start telling scary stories and Sam tells the story of what happened in the house of the escaped boy. Apparently he was the bad seed and sent away by his parents as a child to live in a hospital deep in the woods. As a teenager he escaped the hospital and returned to the house where he murdered his family and hid in the woods for years. The townsfolk say he still haunts the woods, killing anyone he comes across.

so now everyone is all scared and they decide to head over the house to check it out and see if they can catch a glimpse of the killer. Inside the house they find a journal and are attacked by what they think is the ghost of the boy. Back at the cabin they read the journal which chronicles the crazed boys childhood in the woods. He eventually reenters society but no one recognizes his as the crazy murderous child. He marries a woman who gives birth to twins but she dies shortly after. The journal describes how the killer trained his children to hunt humans and how they would kill together. LIGHT BULB!

The killer mentions his daughter is names Sam and his son Jesse (aka "hot" white guy)! The group realizes their friend is the daughter of the killer and her friend is really her deranged brother. As if that weren't enough, we find out the kids killed their father but now believe him to believe alive and hunting them in the forest. This movie is so good!

So, one by one the siblings kill their friends with the exception of the brunette who Jesse took a fancy to. Sam won't allow Jesse to let the brunette live and just as he's about to kill her, guess who pops out of the shadow to beat the crap out of Jesse?! DADDY's HOME! The brunette escapes while the crazy siblings lured their dad outside, and they run around in the woods for awhile which was so stupid. Finally they corner their father who kills Jesse. Sam manages to kill her father and goes after brunette who cracks her in the head and Sam drowns. It ends with brunette calmly driving away from the cabin as if she just dropped off groceries at ole ma's house. She just realized her friend lured her up to the woods to be prey for a sick hunting expedition, saw her other friend's dead bodies, killed Sam and is now a-okay. So sweat off her back. WWWHHHHHAAATTTTT? See, that's why I love this movie.

On a side note, I sort of missed alot of what was going on in the movie because I was trying to figure out what other movie I had seen Sam in, I didn't realize til today it was The Man Without a Face with Mel Gibson. So if I had paid attention this movie might have sucked, but under the circumstances it was awesome!

SO having said all that, I give this movie:
Yes, this is SO a 5! It's crappy and stupid but not overly violent or gory and totally hysterical!!!

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